October 17th at 4:10pm

So I thought it was all you
I thought you were just being a jerk
I thought you somehow created this image of me
That became this terrible villain in your eyes
But then I realized

You're not the only one in control

I'm not talking about my choice in the matter
It totally had left my hands
When you shrugged and ignored me
As I stood at your window
Longing for some peace and reconciliation

As I walked back to my feelings of desire
A desire to be close again
The flood poured down
And somehow I felt I would never be the same

As I cried out I heard a voice
He wiped away my tear
I was the one being turned away now
But He had been turned away for years

Since then I tried to ignore
I tried to repress any thought
The memories that would come
I reprimanded each and every one

I began to think of others
Of effects and changes in them too
Then it hit me, stronger than ever
We have all been better off without you

At first I cringed at the very idea
Was this an outpouring of bitterness?
Against the friend I love so much

But you see it was this place
He had wanted me to come to all along
He wanted me to see
The influence that you had one me

It had never before been so clear
Now I realize I gave you credit for doing what He had planned
I can't explain it all- sovereignty I guess
But now I know it wasn't you... it was Him

He's opened my eyes
To see again
The very thing that was beginning to get between me and Him
Was you

So, I don't know when I will talk to you again
I'm not the one trying to avoid you
But I want you to know

I'm not the same one who stood outside your window
I won't be begging for forgiveness
I haven't been thinking about you every minute

He's finally allowed me to let go...

It's not in your hands
Or in mine
And there's no guarantee of a good response
Things have changed

I've let go...